Monday, December 1, 2014

My Dark Goddess

I was randomly letting my brain go off on a tangent. A streaming brainstorm of adulation...

And I sent in my paperwork to the Department of Corrections. And waiting to test...not too keen on time limited testing. Ugh

"My Dark Goddess"

It shouldn't be a surprise but I've come to accept you and your self-deprecating rage, shocking me witless with your responsible, uninhibited and unpredictable nature, intangibly distant, yet soothing me with your exquisite emotional release of love and lust. You are seething with potential for getting what you want. You only need to realize this.

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Moneywhore Mode

I'm feeling weird...

Even though I'm in moneywhore mode, I'm feeling unsatisfied. Being in this workaholic mode means I have to get my life on track to get what I want which isn't much. I want a place of my own, my car paid off, and a significant other. I thought I found her.

But I can't have her. She says I live so far away--what, six hours?

I still love her as immensely as when I met her almost two years ago.

And I also got another job offer to work in corrections. Not sure about this one, but I hear its great pay getting unlimited overtime and benefits. It'll be something more up my alley but in a prison. More dangerous types. Whatever. Work is work and as long as I'm doing something with my life, I'm happy.

But I just want the girl. She's intoxicating and addicting. Incredibly beautiful and sharp of wit. And it seems I want the girl before any of my other goals. "I need to stabilize my life before I can get the girl", I hear my logical side saying. But another voice tells me, "better hurry up with your other objectives before someone else gets the girl". So this part has me worried.

A battle of wits with myself...

Oh yeah, Happy Thanksgiving!

Saturday, November 15, 2014 flies!

I'm no longer the strapping young lad I was once. Back in the eighties, I made a promise to myself that I'd do everything and anything I could possibly do before I reach 30. And I did. Then my bucket list involved traveling overseas by myself, getting a new car, road tripping cross country, finding the woman of my dreams and starting a family. I did everything except start the family mainly cuz I saw how my siblings' marriages came and went and I realized I didn't want to go through all that headache of divorce and child support and raising kids and blah blah blah.

I've condemned myself to eternal bachelorhood. Singleness. Its not bad yet its not good either. Limbo.

And then there's Switchblade, the woman of my dreams. The woman of many firsts. I'm experiencing what it truly means to be in love with someone other than myself, for the first time. And at the same time, not being codependent as I was in relationships past. Actually feels good. At least now, I have a companion, a best friend to share things with. Yeah. I'm happy!

And I'm working in psych again. I know I've dissed it in the past, but compared to the numerous non-medical jobs I've had, I actually do like this field. Glorified babysitter/bouncer.

And on top of it all, I have a job that I enjoy and gives me unlimited overtime. The having no job for the first six months of the year, was severely stressing me to where I became depressed and anxiety manifested its ugly face in which I was holding down low-paying, unsatisfying jobs. This is not me.

Now fast forward to present time...
-- keep stress levels to a minimum
-- remove caffeine and sugar from my diet
-- no excessively salty foods
-- exercise more
-- avoid injuries to myself from job-related incidents
-- go to nursing school

I've turned my life around for the better. Yeah. I'm boring and I love it! So to keep this forward momentum going, I've decided to go to RN school...taking one class per semester to finish pre-reqs.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Blogging anonymously

One nurse and one tech gone.

They knew better but I guess social media caught up with them. That's why I choose to stay offline for any reason because I know I'm too opinionated to keep my mouth shut online. Well, except maybe here on this blog. I don't tell anyone or any of my coworkers I submit content for this blog. And the only person I know who knows about this is Ms. Moneywhore site owner.

And I guess it helps that I'm just another anonymous ER RN in Georgia with a blog. I've thought about going back to school. Donice said I should. Working back to back shifts is killing me. And the days melt into nights and back again to days. Sometimes I don't even see either. I'm at a cross roads to where I really don't know what to do the rest of my life, besides being a nurse. I know I want a house, but not sure where at the moment. I'm financially independent and have a little nest egg saved up. I've thought about traveling to Fiji or Thailand. And at one point, China.

My thoughts are rambling aimlessly. LOL

Friday, October 17, 2014

Emergency infrastructure is unprepared

Yes, I've decided to write about this Ebola media frenzy. I'm not making light of the situation, but I do feel like this post title says. The American healthcare system is not prepared for Ebola as it is. And with the second nurse being watched closely for Ebola symptoms, everyone in higher authority is quick to blame nurses for inadequately handling Mr. Duncan's case. The Centers for Disease Control continues to investigate the inadequacies of the Dallas Presbyterian.

1) PPE is not effective. Why is everyone else wearing hazmat gear except the ER nurses who usually have first contact with a patient?

2) Training is not mandatory. Not everyone will attend.

3) How do we get rid of and or, transport the biohazard? Nobody knows. No one at my work has a clue on this. I'm not saying we're idiots, I'm just saying we don't have protocols on such a deadly virus as Ebola.

I still love working in the ER. As it stands, nurses are usually first point of contact with the patient. Doctors will give out orders or have a PA assess the patient, but its usually us nurses who draw blood and make nurses assessments to inform the doctor.

Yes, everyone and their dog blames the nurse should something go wrong.