Saturday, September 20, 2014


I just drank a Monster energy drink...and my mind is tripping like this song! I usually never drink energy drinks or caffeine but I just had to see what the hype was about. I have the weekend off; going to hang out with the girls and some friends in Kennessaw. Not too far from here.

This is from a friend's playlist. I think I might find some of the songs on iTunes and put them on my phone. I like running in the park with music in my brain. It distracts me from work. Been stressing lately.

Friday, September 19, 2014

Lux Aeterna: Requiem for a Dream Theme

All I have to say is "Requiem For A Dream" was a bizarre movie to me, but I like this rock version.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Float pool

I'm not going to L&D anymore.

Since I pick up shifts on the behavioral health Annex, the nurse manager there asked me if I could cover shifts on their unit while the nurse who normally works it, is on medical leave. They had a Code 13 and while she was going to give the Ativan cocktail, the patient broke loose security's grip and whacked her head against the wall, unconscious. Luckily the charge nurse was able to recover the syringe, call the doc and make up another one, while more security restrained the patient and put him in five points.


They should have had him secured in the first place. I heard it was a mess. Jason and I were talking at lunch today.

"Aw you're such a sweetheart, covering psych shifts, money whore."
"Really? And the weird thing is, Lori came to L&D where I was orienting and talked to Kristina and so on and so on. Then Kristina asked me to come to the office and we all three had that talk."
"You must be special."
"Shut up, dude."
"Why don't you just put yourself on the float pool, that way, you can go everywhere like a whore."

Unless I'm irritated, I usually ignore his snide remarks. Can't take everything personally.

"Hmm. I never thought of that."
"You'll be a well-rounded individual."
"Yeah. I guess."
"I'll have to talk to Margie about it first. She likes me in Pod 7 because no other nurse wants to work back there. Its easy really."

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Ex men

I'm never doing that schedule again. Ever.

How did I not know? Seriously?

I'm talking about Jessica's brother...Brian. My ex! Jessica, night shift nurse from tele. She was talking about her boyfriend and how he's moving out then the conversation switched to her brother this morning when we went to the park. Yes, I'd just gotten off my last haul and then I WENT WALKING with Jess at the Buruss Park on South Cobb Drive. My feet hated me, but the woman was in tears over her boyfriend woes. I was just an listening and sympathetic ear. And I don't swing that way.

Then she went on and on about her brother in the Army in Afghanistan, Brian. Curious, I prodded her for details because she made him sound like this guy I went out with in nursing school, Brian. Then I quizzed her about certain features of him a dimple on his cheek and certain tribal tattoos he had on his chest and arms. When I said that, we both stopped\ in our tracks.

"Wait, how do you know he has those tattoos?"
"I went out with this guy named Brian in 2006. Why? Do you know him?"
"Oh my god, Sarah! He's my brother!"
"Wait, what? But he doesn't have your last name."
"My mom remarried and he's my half-brother! I didn't know you guys dated!"
"I didn't know he had a sister."

So we talked and talked and talked and talked. And talked some more. And my feet didn't hurt anymore.

I hate Brian. He always seems to drain me emotionally because I was so head over heels for the guy and he decides to move far away. He said he didn't want to interfere in my career, and what does he do? Goes off and joins the Army without telling me. No word where he's going. Just drops out of sight and out of my life and all I could do was cry, cry, cry my head off. Its a wonder I even passed nursing school. Something like the disappearance of someone you love tears you apart to where I don't know how I survived. No phone calls, no returned texts, no emails. No more I love yous. Nothing.

And then a card six months after nursing school with the words "Code Red" and I knew it was from the jerk. We used to drink that super sugary soft drink on the nights I had to study for major tests. In that card, was a Post-It note saying, "I didn't want to interfere in your new career. Yours Always, B". He's not mine. I'm so done with him. He's the epitome of fear of commitment! Why are guys like that? I poured over day and night for a year trying to figure out what I did wrong to have him leave me like that. In limbo.

I hope I never see that bastard because I'll probably kill him. With my car. And a crowbar.

And some nails.

And yet, I still love him.

Sarah, you need to let him go.

I would if I could...

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Can't sleep...Clowns will eat me

Just got home from another half a day and night at my home away from home, the Wonderful World of the ER. My feet hurt like the looks of 100% lean ground beef. Since my friends asked me to contribute to their blog, I think I've just totally taken over it with my stories from work! Awesome!
And yes, I guess I am a "money whore". That's what Jason the PM charge from med/surge called me. I used to play racketball with him and his wife, Jeanette. They're health nuts and we're all 30somethings. I'm not exactly a health nut, but I have a high metabolism and I need to keep moving.

Got off a 16 hour shift and I can't sleep. Had to do some last minute charting because we had a guy code just after change of shift. And as soon as I got home, there was a Post-It note on my door from Ethan saying "We have to talk". This made me anxious almost instantly because now I'll be mulling over in my mind what "we" have to talk about. I blocked his number. I deleted all our pictures off my phone. I removed everything digital that reminded me of our empty relationship. And now this.

I remember seeing this sticker when I was at the mall last week and I stopped by Hot Topic. A little black and white decal saying "Can't sleep...Clowns will eat me!" It made me laugh so hard right there in the store that the clerks probably thought I was hearing voices. The kind of goofiness that goes on when I was in nursing school at the computer lab and I hear someone burst out laughing in that normally QUIET room.

So now I'm anxious. Just going to make myself a big scrambled egg and spinach sandwich with a glass of ice water and raspberry-flavored water enhancer. The tub's cooling down and I also anxiously awaiting for my new spring shoes to come in. Hopefully it comes in this week. My pain threshold is moving up to the next level.

Man, I wish I hadn't read that note...

Can't sleep...a clown is stalking me.
Can't sleep...a clown is stalking me.
Can't sleep...a clown is stalking me.